My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
