I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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