he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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