vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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