you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Randomize
