I wanna bring you to show and tell
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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