he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
