Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
