i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize