I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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