I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
