why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize