took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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