if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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