YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
