You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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