if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
