I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
