shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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