i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the day after is always just damage control
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
