we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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