im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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