so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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