i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
