Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
