Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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