Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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