Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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