I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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