K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
