tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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