I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
