Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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