did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
