shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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