we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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