If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
