Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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