could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
