I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
