Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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