12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
