The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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