i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize