I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
