Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize