there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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