this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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