I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
