dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
