I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Couch. On fire.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
