i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my liver is dry heaving
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
