my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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