how can u be prego again
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
