Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Are we still banned from the library?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
