Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's never too late to be topless.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
