party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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