She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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