In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
