You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
