would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
