Don't make out with my wife yet
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Randomize
