somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
