Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
