I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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