We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
