Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
