i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm just crazy horny about you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
