the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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