If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
